Halleluja, Holy S*#t, Where's the Tylenol
Moving of our HHG (Household goods) starts Monday and I'm downing. This process is literally insane. Huge shout out to all the military families that this is a way of life for. I walk around the house tripping over piles of things like Chevy Chase saying " Hallelujah, holy shit, where's the Tylenol". As soon as I think we are close to done, I find one (ten) more things to do. Here's how this works: the military contracts out each move to a regular moving company and they contact you, walk through your house, estimate the weight of our shipment and then come back on a scheduled day to pack it all up. There are rules specific to each moving company and here are ours:
* Everything off the walls
* No liquids- no shampoo, oils, alcohol, lotions, paints, cleaning supplies, etc. ( I'm planning on sticking a few of my favorite things in between the kids blankets in their boxes and hope for the best)
* No batteries- meaning I have to REMOVE EVERY BATTERY IN EVERY TOY IN THE HOUSE. Like 7th circle of Hell scenario situation. Ya'll don't even know how much of my time for the move has been devoted to removing tiny screws from tiny toys and then putting them back. Why are they so small? Why do you have to have a specific tool for each toy? DO THEY HATE US? Who thinks this kind of thing is a good idea when making kids toys, obviously no parent participated in that discussion. If they did, I have a few choice words for them.
* No opened food- we aren't taking any food, that just seems like a poor choice to us.
You also separate your items into going with to Germany and long term storage (NTS or non temp storage). Meaning anything you want to have shipped over MUST be in the HHG shipment. Meaning all the things you'll need for the flight? Better have them planned and pulled out. Meaning all the things you'll need to wear for the 3 months until your stuff comes? Better have it set aside. Meaning all the things you need to home school three kids for months until the big shipment comes? Better write three months of lesson plans and have what you need. My brain literally hurts from having to think through all the things. And my sweet husband J is not what you'd call great at forward planing. He's the stereotypical Absent Minded Professor who also has ADD, so on hour 5 of his LEGO sorting I gave up on the likelihood that he would actually be helpful. This situation is overwhelming for me, for anyone with processing issues, it's impossible. So I give him lists and leave him to the LEGOS and electrical cords ( of which we have approx 7,000).
The dog and the van both have to be shipped out of Atlanta, so there will be a quick trip over there at some point soon. And both require stacks of forms. Honda has the title to our van and is giving us a ton of grief about taking it overseas ( you need a release letter from them saying you are allowed to take it in order to ship it). It is actually pretty standard procedure for this kind of vehicle to be shipped, it happens everyday for military purposes. But according to the genius on the phone I " ain't a real solider" so they won't give us a release. Even though it's military orders, and military shipping it. Sigh. So we are fighting that battle.
Truthfully, I'm almost hysterical with stress. Like sit in the floor laugh uncontrollably and then weep a little. This is the worst week of this process so far. I know that by Wednesday when they shipment pulls out of our driveway, the rest of our time here in Alabama will be lovely and calm and filled with family. But we might not all survive until then, especially if anything else has batteries.
* Everything off the walls
* No liquids- no shampoo, oils, alcohol, lotions, paints, cleaning supplies, etc. ( I'm planning on sticking a few of my favorite things in between the kids blankets in their boxes and hope for the best)
* No batteries- meaning I have to REMOVE EVERY BATTERY IN EVERY TOY IN THE HOUSE. Like 7th circle of Hell scenario situation. Ya'll don't even know how much of my time for the move has been devoted to removing tiny screws from tiny toys and then putting them back. Why are they so small? Why do you have to have a specific tool for each toy? DO THEY HATE US? Who thinks this kind of thing is a good idea when making kids toys, obviously no parent participated in that discussion. If they did, I have a few choice words for them.
* No opened food- we aren't taking any food, that just seems like a poor choice to us.
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| 100 proof Vodka is necessary for this task |
You also separate your items into going with to Germany and long term storage (NTS or non temp storage). Meaning anything you want to have shipped over MUST be in the HHG shipment. Meaning all the things you'll need for the flight? Better have them planned and pulled out. Meaning all the things you'll need to wear for the 3 months until your stuff comes? Better have it set aside. Meaning all the things you need to home school three kids for months until the big shipment comes? Better write three months of lesson plans and have what you need. My brain literally hurts from having to think through all the things. And my sweet husband J is not what you'd call great at forward planing. He's the stereotypical Absent Minded Professor who also has ADD, so on hour 5 of his LEGO sorting I gave up on the likelihood that he would actually be helpful. This situation is overwhelming for me, for anyone with processing issues, it's impossible. So I give him lists and leave him to the LEGOS and electrical cords ( of which we have approx 7,000).
The dog and the van both have to be shipped out of Atlanta, so there will be a quick trip over there at some point soon. And both require stacks of forms. Honda has the title to our van and is giving us a ton of grief about taking it overseas ( you need a release letter from them saying you are allowed to take it in order to ship it). It is actually pretty standard procedure for this kind of vehicle to be shipped, it happens everyday for military purposes. But according to the genius on the phone I " ain't a real solider" so they won't give us a release. Even though it's military orders, and military shipping it. Sigh. So we are fighting that battle.
Truthfully, I'm almost hysterical with stress. Like sit in the floor laugh uncontrollably and then weep a little. This is the worst week of this process so far. I know that by Wednesday when they shipment pulls out of our driveway, the rest of our time here in Alabama will be lovely and calm and filled with family. But we might not all survive until then, especially if anything else has batteries.
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| Stuff everywhere |
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| On every surface |
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